Clash of the titans

... ay, there's the question? Should the remake of Clash of the Titans have not been 3-Ded? The professional movie critics monitored by Rotten Tomatoes didn't think much of the end product, which garnered just 50 positive reviews and a resultant 31% rating. Maybe they should have seen it in 2D as well, to better appreciate what the production company had originally set out to achieve.

Their goal was big box-office sales built on word-of-mouth favour for big-screen special effects. That's what it should earn, because that's what most moviegoers want to see. The director, Louis Leterrier, gained cred for reviving The Incredible Hulk. He re-hired some of its technical talents and employed other SFX aces who'd worked on The Dark Knight.

Then he and Warner Brothers collated an international cast of acting talents. A few of them are now in danger of being typecast. Ralph Fiennes glares Voldemortally as Hades, while his brother, Zeus, is Aslan reincarnate (Liam Neeson). His son, Perseus, aka Sam Worthington, sprang sideways from Terminator Salvation en route to Avatar, only knowing that he was playing a different part because he was allowed to use his real Australian voice. The casting team had obviously seen the latest two Bond capers, and chose Io and Draco accordingly. Peter Postlethwaite is already fully typecast as the ancient mariner of Hollywood.

What about the story? You've already had enough clues, even if you've never seen the 1980s original movie that many critics preferred. I hadn't and gained a reminder of the ways in which Tolkien, JK Rowling, George Lucas, James Cameron etc concocted their multi-part fantasies. They'd raided Greek mythology. If proof were needed, this movie confirms it : the ancient Greeks didn't just have a word for everything, they'd also invented every Hollywood adventure epic plot line.

The Christian rightists may be getting alarmed. This week, they've already had to hear dragon-fighters invoking the names of Thor and Odin. Now they've got a Strine-accented Greek fisherman's son saving mankind by abjuring all the gods even though he's the bastard Son of the top dog. Gee, what blasphemies will Hollywood think up next week?

The movie's fun to watch, with fast-paced music, editing and sound effects creating cineplex fun. Io's explanatory introduction, which needed defter scripting, does slow down the opening, some of the dialogue is bathetic, there's probably not enough gore for the younger male market, and there's no sexual action. So this is Christian family fun for Easter and beyond, and the negro market will be delighted by the colour of Pegasus, who's the most beautiful horse Hollywood's ever special-effected.