Wild target

Pierre Salvadori gained a Cesar nomination for Best First Feature for his direction (and writing) of Cible Emouvante, his 1993 farce about a middle-aged hitman, his domineering mother, a wild young woman and a clumsy youth. He'd gained the good services of good actors and the movie did well.

He may now well regret his authorisation of a British remake. Re-written by Lucinda Coxon, its title and most of its plot faithfully translated, Wild Target was directed by the multi-talented award-winning Jonathan Lynn, whose immortality is ensured by his co-creation of Yes, Minister.

They also assembled a cast of star movie names: Bill Nighy (diffident shifty-eyed hitman), Eileen Atkins (monstrous mother guarding family's reputation as assassins), Emily Blunt (devil-may-care conwoman) and Rupert (Harry Potter's sidekick Ron) Grint (immature lad again). Rupert Everett joins them as the suave bearded millionaire who's hired Nighy to kill Blunt, alongside Martin (BBC TV's The Office) Freeman as the rival hitman Everett hires to kill Nighy and Blunt.

If it sounds promising, it probably was. The end result is a sad disappointment. The screenplay falls flat when it tries to be funny, cute or dramatic; the direction plods; and the cast looks embarrassed (most noticeably Nighy, whose shrunken screwed-up eyes occasionally flicker nervously into the camera's gaze, looking as if they're begging to be released from the body that got them into the sorry mess). The audience can only feel embarrassed when Blunt's character has to fall into instant love with Nighy, sensing him to be her trusty oak tree.

The Isle of Man provided funds and production facilities, and it should be regretting endowing a few lucky civil servants with a film fund (everyone else has one, so why not one for Douglas too, they may have argued?). I'll try to catch the French original, knowing that the French usually do farce with more flair than Brits.