Machete

Robert Rodriguez is a unique talent. He makes affectionate send-ups of some of the movie world's worst genres, concocting commercial successes from ludicrous plots, gory mayhem and juicy ham acting. The twisted genius who gave us Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Sin City, Grindhouse, Planet Terror and, for family audiences, four Spy Kids adventures, reworked many of his winning combinations for Machete in 2010.

Since his award-winning debut with El Mariachi in 1992, the Latino Texan has rarely put a spurred foot wrong. Quentin Tarantino, his sometime buddy, gets the critical limelight; Rodriguez probably earns more millions of dollars and has a lot of fun with his family.

Apart from co-producing this movie, he co-wrote it (with a cousin), directed it, co-edited it (with a sister), co-wrote the main title theme, played it and other tracks (produced by him) with his own Chingon band, produced and supervised visual effects, and also gave himself another end credit (or maybe two).

For the title role of the vengeful ex-Federale Mexican policeman, he cast Danny Trejo, an L.A.-born (1946) tattooed knife-wielding ex-convict and ex-boxer who's got 200 movie acting credits. The Rodriguez regular is ravished by his leading ladies, amazingly. By comparison with Trejo, Stallone looks pretty. For real screen prettiness, Rodriguez cast Jessica Fantastic Four Alba (who worked for him in Sin City) as an Immigration cop, Michelle Fast and Furious Rodriguez (no relation, it seems) as an immigrant support group leader, and troubled former child actress and party girl Lindsay Freaky Friday Lohan unwisely agreed to be typecast as the druggie daughter of an evil Senator's henchman (Jeff Fahey, another Rodriguez favourite). The Senator is played, with self-mocking humour and clear enjoyment, by Robert de Niro (who seems to have given up hunting for real acting jobs).

Not satisfied with that all-star line-up of fun characters, Rodriguez included a vicious drug king (ageing action hero Steven Seagal, with dyed black hair and a vast shirt to hide a presumed vast stomach), Machete's macho brother and priest (Cheech Marin, reprising the fraternal act he and Trejo played in Grindhouse), and a murderous organiser of an anti-immigrant racist vigilante band (Don Nash Bridges Johnson).

Minor characters and cameos are neatly drawn too, the script is dotted with rightist jokes and liberal rhetoric about immigration, and the action has only a few quiet moments during which the audience can marvel at Trejo's iguana-like visage or the leading ladies' cleavages, legs and bare breasts.

A Machete sequel will be made for sure, while Trejo can still make it; this one grossed almost four times its US$10 million budget. It's a cartoon action movie, and one of the best in its own genre, reminding audiences why long knives and garden tools are ideal for creating gloriously gory piercings, gruesome decapitations and giggle-rousing deaths.